When you're down?

Hello people,
It's been a long time since I last posted on here, I'm so sorry for the silence and all of that.
  Firstly, we'd start with the reason for my long silence- I've been out of here, shut out in my own world fighting battles against the big monster( if you know what that is, good, if you don't- I hope you catch the drift before you finish reading this post), the monster was so big it almost swallowed me whole, day by day,  I was sinking and it was just too much for me. At the same time, I still wanted to balance everything, I still wanted to be the girl everyone knew, I still wanted to be the girl with the overly wide smile, I was getting a hang till it got to a point I just had to stop because it just was not easy, I got tired of pretending I was feeling something because all I had in me was emptiness, I could not feel anything physically but my heart and soul was in so much pain and on some days I even had to bring forth that pain to my physical self, I did all sort. But one thing, which at that point, I didn't pay attention to, was the fact
" your darkest days may be your most productive days  if you channel the energy into that thing you really want to do"

During these days, I realized that I read the hardest and I prayed the hardest because I just needed distraction, whatever it was I did during those days, I did with all of my heart and soul.
Maybe your sorrow is there to fuel your passion,
Maybe those nights you cried your self to sleep, you're supposed to cry and thereafter start writing that story or song or script you want to write, maybe , just maybe, you'd never know until you start being positive even towards your sorrow.

At this time that I write this post, the monster is still here because it hardly ever goes, it's not even hiding yet, on some days, it still comes out to play, but I have decided to be positive towards everything and maybe someday, it'll all make sense. But for now,
Love and lights
See you soon,
With love,
Your blogger girl 🌹